Questions and Answers (Almost a Decade Later)

Hello my dear readers (reader, although I’m not sure you’re still on here). I felt inspired to log back into this thing after many years and wow. I miss the old days! XD 

Many years ago, I answered 100 questions on here and thought it would be cool to do it again but as a young adult.

So here we go!

—

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life

Nope. That still hasn’t changed LOL! 

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

I guess so. I don’t feel anything when I think about them. They’re completely out of my life so it’s hard to really feel anything in regards to them. I guess that counts as forgiveness? 

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

A cat. I still don’t understand this question. XD

4: What’s something you really want right now?

A better job. I want to make my family proud and feel like I’m doing something right and I feel like that starts with getting out of Homedepot. 

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

Yes. I’ve had to learn the hard way that it’s very rare to find someone who will honor and respect the love you give them. Even if you love someone with all your heart and do everything to show them that, there’s still a chance that you can get burned. Bad. This isn’t the case for everyone and there are good people out there, but it’s not easy to find them. I’m afraid of falling in love and finding out that the person isn’t one of them.  

6: Do you like the beach?

I love the beach. The ocean is so massive. Sitting in front of it makes you realize how small you truly are and how insignificant some of the things we worry about is. Facing the grandness of nature as a tiny human being helps me forget about all my problems and cares and just be. 

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

Yes I have. 

8: What’s the background on your cell? 

A character from my favorite video game at the moment named “Crypto”. 

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

I was sat on??? Tf even is this question. Uh, my bed. The guest room bed. The bed in my cat’s room. My parent’s bed.

10: Do you like your phone?

Yeah, it’s pretty cool. It gets a little laggy though but I’m sure that has to do with time. 

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

Nah, life never goes as planned. I tend to not think about the future for this very reason. Like when I was in high school, for some reason, I just couldn’t fathom the idea of me ever being in college. Now that I’m finishing up college, I can’t fathom the idea of being done and working a salary job. It just feels so unattainable and my brain doesn’t even try to comprehend it. 

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

A friend from my job named Jaquan. He’s in Florida right now for a vacation so I asked him to send pics of the views. Gotta live vicariously through people xD!

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

I cannot believe I’m typing this right now but…Rottweiler. I’ve always been a little simp for the tiny, fluffy, cute little doggies but recently, my opinion has changed. I kinda like the big dogs and how they’re very protective and loyal. It’s like they’re your guardian angels. The small tiny dogs feel kinda like little babies to me that constantly need to be spoiled (and don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind doing that but as a cat owner, i want a protector for a change xD).

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional. Emotional pain feels scarring but those wounds are all invisible to the naked eye. You can’t get emotional pain treated with Tylenol and Motrin. You have to endure it, feel the aching in your heart until it finally subsides, cry countless nights into your pillow until the tears dry up. Emotional pain sucks. I’d rather have a broken leg than a broken heart. (I typed arm at first but then thought of how I need my arm to play videogames and s immediately pressed the backspace). 

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

I’ve been to an art museum before but I’ve never been to the zoo. So answer is zoo. 

16: Are you tired?

Mentally, yes. Physically, I’m okay. 

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

22 years in counting. 

18: Are they a relative?

Yes.

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

Just one. He's an incredible person but I fear the relationship may have changed too much for that to ever happen. We’re like family now. 

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

Yesterday! LOL 

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

No, I’d want to take my time getting to know them first and building a solid friendship. Even if someone is the right person, if you don’t build that foundation with them first and learn how they operate, a marriage will not last. 

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I don’t know. Probably not because like I said before, the dynamic of the relationship has changed. It feels weird to think of that.

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

One. I constantly keep one bracelet on my left wrist. 

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

It’s not really a quote but I constantly tell myself that I’ll be okay. 

25: What’s on your mind?

I’m just thinking about all the things that need to get done. My mom got COVID so I have to be with her at her doctors appointment and my sister wants me to get her on some special medication. I’m also thinking about chores that need to get done (like cleaning after the cat). I also have to eat. Too many damn things that need to be done.

 

26: Do you have any tattoos?

Nope

27: What is your favorite color?

Pink. Pale pinks, blush pinks, berry pinks, reddish pinks. Mannnn i love pink! 

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

who knows. I know it sounds cryptic but I really don’t see myself dating anyone again. It’s been years since I’ve met someone and I don’t get out of the house enough to actually meet people. 

29: Who are you texting?

No one really. I mean I’ll text my best friend, family members, coworkers, and then some ppl I play apex with but that’s about it. 

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

Uh yes. Some of these questions aren’t as introspective as I was expecting lmfao. 

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

This happens a lot at work. I usually sense that a shift isn’t going to go well and bam — it doesn’t. Maybe it’s like a self fulfilling prophecy but it’s usually stuff outside of my control, like a customer coming in pissed AF because things didn’t go their way. 

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

Yes. My best friend. 

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

Like genuine, I want to date this girl feelings? Nah. 

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yes.

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

I really don’t care. Depending on the person he’s kissing, I’d be happy for him.

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

Yes.

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Yes.

38: What do your friends call you?

Sonia. My best friend calls me Maya (there’s a story for this haha). My gamertag is SolarStrawberry so some people I game with call me Solar. 

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

Hmmm I don’t think so. 

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

Yes. Or moreso someone’s apathetic response to one.

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

I have one forming on the area just above my knee. 

42: What is it from?

sometimes  when I’m sitting, i lean forward and my elbows put a lot of pressure in that area. 

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

Work work work. I always want to be far from there.

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My best friend. 

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Ahhhh I mean, I really like my white adidas. I just don’t wear them often because they’re white haha. I’d be so mad if they got dirty. 

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

If it’s during the Winter, yes. During the summer, I usually just put on one of those headband things you put around your neck and then lift, and pull back, and then tie the rest of my hair back. 

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Nooooo! I’ve been growing out my hair for the past two years. I’m trying to get it to Valkyrae’s length. We ain’t going bald. Ever. 

48: Do you make supper for your family?

Sometimes.

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

I’m not even going to answer this.

50: Top 3 web-pages?

I feel like these days, everything is in the form of an app so I’ll do top three apps instead.

1.) YouTube 

2.) Reddit 

3.) Netflix 

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Yes. Me. Im not a fan of going out to the store and shopping. I usually go with my family and they turn a quick trip into a 3 hour thing.. 

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

My back aches a bit but nothing crazy. 

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

Not anymore. I’ve had to say goodbye to a lot of people and end a lot of relationships/friendships. I think experiencing such an incredible and healthy relationship/friendship with my best friend made it easier for me to let go of anything less. 

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Water I’m pretty sure. 

55: How is your hair?

Frizzy as heck and wavy. 

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

Check to see how many more minutes I could get away with sleeping in for before I absolutely HAVE to get up.

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

Yes if they both put in the effort and are intentional about making it work. 

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

Well considering I was 8 years old, it would be concerning if I wasn’t. 

59: Green or purple grapes?

You know.. I’m not sure what the difference is. I’m gonna say purple because that’s what I’ve had recently. 

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

Maybe next time I go to work. There’s a coworker i refer to as “papa bear” because he’s like a dad to me and gives me the biggest bear hugs. :)

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

I lowkey wish I was at the beach. I wouldn’t mind sitting on a balcony overlooking the ocean while writing this. 

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

I’m sure at some point today. I gotta update my sister about my mom’s doctors appointment.

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

Home 

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

Sleeping

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

I don’t think I liked anyone. 

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

That coworker I mentioned before. Papa bear. He never ceases to make me smile and cheer me up. In my darkest moments, he always has the right words and knows just what to say. It’s nice having a work dad. 

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

No 

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

Probably about a place I really want to be. A quiet city illuminated by stars and fairy lights. (Yes, even after all these years, I’m still obsessed with fairy lights). 

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Yeah this happened a lot with me trying to please my mom. I would try my best to do what she wanted me to do but it never was enough. I eventually just stopped and distanced myself, and oddly enough, I feel like that helped our relationship. 

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

I’m on my phone. I have like 8 apps open right now. I need to close them it’s no wonder why my phone is so slow. 

71: How many fingers do you have?

10 i think 

72: What is your ringtone?

One of the default iPhone ones.

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

23. Holy crap. 

74: Where is your Mum right now?

In her room. She’s on the phone with a coworker. 

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

Because that relationship was toxic and abusive on so many levels for the both of us. It’s better to be alone than to be in that kind of situation. 

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

Nope.

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Kinda? I mean I’m still cordial with my old friends and stuff but I don’t really talk to them anymore. It’s just me and my best friend at this point.

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Kinda? I mean I’m still cordial with my old friends and stuff but I don’t really talk to them anymore. It’s just me and my best friend at this point.

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

I’m gonna assume this means 7th grade. I think I had a crush on this guy named Danny Lidiak. I was in love with this kid for whatever reason. It’s like I picked someone random and said to myself “you. i choose to set my sights on you” and that was my logic. 

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

Yes! Another old coworker of mine. He was awesome.

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Yes, it’s such a comforting feeling. The best sleep I’ve ever gotten was in someone’s arms. 

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

Genuinely liked? 0. 

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

Me, myself, and I. 

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

I don’t like anyone. 

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

Ok I’m not gonna answer this because this would NEVER happen. Drunk or sober, I am not yelling at any guys out of my car. 💀

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

Yes. I can’t be with someone who’s into drugs. I’ve tried and it just can’t work. The drugs and substance abuse will consume them and ultimately, as much as you can love someone, you can’t change/save them. They have to make that choice for themselves and until they do, it’s painful and exhausting for you to sit back and watch them ruin their lives and throw away their future. 

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

I don’t think anything eventful happened. I mean other than the movie itself being awesome.

87: Who was your last received call from?

I swear this was definitely a question earlier. 

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

I don’t like the idea of doing that but at the same time, 1,000 isn’t easy to come by. Idk. 

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

Money. 

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

Yes

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

Nope. Too many bugs.

92: Do you get along with girls?

Some of them. The same can go for guys though. You get along with some people and others, you don’t.

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

Nah

94: Does sex mean love?

Not at all. Most people these days have sex and don’t give two craps about the person they are doing such an intimate thing with. Sex does not equal love. 

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

No.

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

No. 

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

Yes.

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

I have people who make me smile and laugh, yea, but they aren’t my source of happiness if that makes sense. I feel like happiness has to come from yourself. 

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

No, although the hopeless romantic in me wishes that were a thing. Imagine locking eyes with your soulmate and immediately knowing inside they were the one. Ahhh if only life were that simple.

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

I don’t know.

Spanish

September 2015

Hello wonderful blog reader! It's been a while since I've posted anything. I guess it's because I've been way too lazy to actual pick up my fingers and type.

School finally started after a luxurious two month vacation *__________*, and I have to say, this year has been the hardest yet. I actually cried at school yesterday because I was so frustrated with everything: teachers who just don't seem to understand students, a crazy workload, annoying students, etc... I am considering dropping out of some classes so I won't be so stressed out but at the same time, a part of me wants to continue taking them. My friend told me that during 4th period, there is a college prep class with available spots. My 4th period is Spanish so I've been thinking about how less anxious I would be if I dropped that class. I process things very slowly and I am a visual learner, but my Spanish teacher goes very quickly and is all about auditory learning -- I'm supposed to understand what she says the moment she says it. If someone can't answer her questions on the spot, she disregards them and claims they are slackers. It's so irritating because a student could practice Spanish all night and still not be able to answer her questions and she would *still* regard them as slackers. Teacher logic.

Anyways, as I was saying, I thought maybe I should drop the class but my friend also told me something else. He already took the class I'm taking and he said that at first, he didn't understand Spanish all that well either, but by second quarter, things started getting better and he started understanding more and more until he became very good. He knows a lot of Spanish now and he says that if I just stick with it, I'll learn a lot.

Change and Growing Up

This post is basically me complaining and whining. Sorry. Lol. No seriously, I'm sorry.

____

One thing many people may not know about me is that I'm terrible with change. Once I get into a certain cycle or routine, it's hard to stop or deter from that cycle. When change suddenly comes my way, I get pretty frustrated and stressed...which is why I'm writing this. 

My sister from Georgia is moving back and a friend of hers may be staying with us for a while. A couple of months ago, I would burst with excitement at such news. More people in the house = more fun, more people to confide in and spend time with, etc...

Now, I'm starting to change my mind. My sister and her friend are here right now (they'll be leaving tomorrow and then coming back for good in a few weeks) and I hate it.

I'm not used to having a stranger in the house and frankly, I'm extremely uncomfortable. I can't blast my music or do what I normally do because I feel the need to conform into a more 'proper' person. I also have to share a room with my sister so I don't get much privacy to do what I want. If I watch dramas, I get yelled at for studying. If I try to take a nap, I get yelled at because I'm only a high schooler and I have no reason to be tired or sad or whatever. It's annoying.

Not only that, but my older sister has been getting on me about my habits. She wants me to get a summer job and start saving for a car. Like whoa there I'm only 15. I want to enjoy my summer and relax. I don't understand the rush to get a liscence and a job. I'm FIFTEEN. I want to enjoy being 15. I don't want to worry about work and learning how to drive. I was planning on learning around senior year. I don't understand why I have to grow up so quickly. I used to want to grow up but now I don't. I'm a kid and kids shouldn't worry about that stuff. I feel like I have to though because she is a very dominant person and will give me hell If I don't do what she wants me to. 

She also wants me to do after school activities and wants me to study more (despite all the efforts I'm putting into school right now). I don't understand all the pressure and weight that kids have to have when it comes to school. Yes, college is important but this is a bit much. My attitude towards school is get in and get out. I don't care about extracurricular activities. I don't give two craps about what colleges think of me. I'm not even thinking about the repercussions of not getting involved.

I just don't care (shame on me, I know). 

I definitely understand why that sounds bad but I don't really value school as much as I should. Yes, education = job with good pay, but is that all life has to offer? I want to do what I love and don't want my life to be engulfed in things I hate. I spend so much time watching dramas and drawing and writing because I LOVE it and I feel like it's the only thing keeping me sane these days. School is hell and they're definitely overworking students. Even my health teacher said that this generation has the most pressure and work on them than any other generation. In addition, some kids are so annoying, rude, and judgemental, teachers aren't understanding, and a siblings just put so much pressure on people. 

What's the point in investing/caring so much about something that makes you feel like crap? Forgive me for not caring about my GPA and resume. I figured focusing on what makes me happy would be more important.

I know this was a jumble but I'm trying to release everything.

I can tell from here on out my life's going to be different with two new people in the house, one of which is going to be breathing down my neck 24/7.

So much for chilling and getting through highschool with decent grades and majoring in something I love. I don't even think I can do anything related to writing or drawing because nothing I like pays well.

I'm sorry for all this complaining and whining (it's not even well constructed or focused on one topic) but I really needed to rant. I know I sound like an ungrateful, melodramatic teen.

I guess that's because I am one.

Here I go again.

Okay, let me stop. I'm just super annoyed and upset and when I'm like this, I become really negative and over dramatic. I turn small things into big things and start making a fuss about everything. 

Once again, (what is this the third time?) I'm sorry!!

***

I tried talking to my sister about this but she says I'm making a big deal out of nothing and basically that this is a small, insignificant problem. 

I guess to an adult, all kids have insignificant problems. What's big to us is small to them because they're grown and they've gotten through what we are currently going through. I get that, but i wish they could be a bit more understanding of our feelings considering the fact that they've been through these things before. I wish they could try to enpathize and relate to us instead of constantly telling us we're overreacting.

Sigh.

I guess this is just the way life is. 

^^ how I feel internally (thank goodness that baby is gone though)

**

So a day has passed since I've written this and I just want to say wow...

Just for clarification, my sisters aren't bad people and they aren't mean or whatever, they just have different perspectives and are hard on me because they don't want me to make the same mistakes they've made. I feel like I made them sound like monsters in this post lol but they're really not. 

A New (Big) Idea + Rambles ٩꒰ ( ✪͈̀ ᗜ ✪͈́) ꒱۶

Lately, I've been watching dramas nonstop -- whether it be Japanese or Korean, I've just been drama binging.

(It's a horrible illness, I know).

Since I've been watching a lot, I've found some really amazing and meaningful ones. I've also found some not so meaningful ones.

Whenever i finish a meaningful drama, I always try to find one that's similar. One with a remarkable friendship, amazing character development, hardships, and maybe some romance *wink wink* but it's so hard and usually, I find those dramas when I'm not looking for them. When I randomly watch a recommended drama, not expecting much, or find something that I've been debating on watching. It's usually those that are amazing.

Anyways, the point of this seemingly pointless ramble is that I want to write up a drama one day. Since I have such a hard time finding one that I'd really like, why not make my own? I know, I know, so unrealistic and impractical, but hey! A girl can dream...

The closest I can get to ever doing something like that Is writing a story and lately, I've noticed that's been a lot harder compared to before. My vocabulary isn't as great now. Difficult words I used to know last year have been erased from my long term memory. In addition to that, I also tend to make all my sentences sound the same in my stories. They all have a familiar ring to it. 

I was reading an assassins creed fanfic I wrote a while ago and my goodness. The way I wrote back then was so different compared to now -- maybe even better. Point is, I have some work to do. I suppose I won't ever get better if I don't pick up a pencil and practice.

Maybe one day I can produce an amazing drama. It would be cool to see character I've made come to life and plots I made up unravel before my very eyes. I think I would be kind of magical. 

I'll end off with this quote that I love --

"If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." 

I think this can go for anything. If there's a drawing or painting you're yearning to see, create it. A play you want to watch, write it. 

I know I'm being really unrealistic. Figuring out a plot is hard work and getting people to even notice you is can take years and years of dedication but for me, I think I'm going to just write and draw without the intention of getting my stuff famous or known. It's good enough, writing or drawing something I like. Even if it is frusterating at times. 

Goodbye my lovely readers (reader)! (I'm probably going to write another post because I feel like releasing my thoughts. Next one js definitely about school lol). 

Update After Centuries （ ´∀｀）☆

Hey blog readers (reader)!

So I just read your blog update and how I feel inspired to write a post as well. It's about time too -- this blog was beginning to grow some cobwebs. 

Right now, it's 8:20 a.m. and I'm still sitting at home. I have an orthodontics appointment so I'm going to school later. I'm kind of excited about this appointment because there's a chance my braces will come off. It's either this appointment or my next one. I've been dying to get these things off because my gums have been swelling like crazy. I'm going to have a gummy smile when I get these metal wires out of my mouth.

I don't really want to go back to school. I have a presentation today and I hate presentations. I hate how everyone in the room is focusing on me. I would rather be the one watching than the one being watched. I hope I'll do a good job.

On a brighter note, I drew something new! I've been into drawing Korean celebrities lately (lol) and yesterday, I drew Nam Taehyun!

If you don't know who that is, he's a part of a group called Winner:

He always looked a bit childlike to me for some reason, especially when he laughs. Sadly, I don't really know how to draw teeth so I just drew him with a facial expression similar to the one he has on the first picture. 

It's not perfect but I'm pretty proud of this drawing because it's the best I've done in a while. I've been exploring different drawing styles but practicing all these different styles just confuses me. I think I'll just stick to one for now.

Welp, that's all I really have to say for now (plus, I have to get ready for my appointment *-*). 

Farewell!