I guess I can talk about Christmas but I'm not sure what to say. My sister is going to this little house party my cousins are throwing and once again, they invited me to come along. Once again, I pretty much denied their offer.
I feel like a bum nugget for being so rude and never spending time with them but they're all so much older than me and treat me like a baby whenever I try to talk to them. I try my hardest to talk to them normally but it seems like I don't have the capability to speak to adults. It seems like all they can do is look down on me and treat me like I'm four and ignorant to everything around me.
But guess what mother fudgers.
I'm not.
I think...
Nah I probably am...
Or maybe I'm not...
ANYWAYS, yeah. My Christmas will consist of sleeping, eating, and hopefully spending time with my wonderful friend who lives all the way in Florida. Despite her living far away, she feels like my only TRUE friend.
I have friends at school but it's like I always have to put up a front for them to like me. I have to act like someone I'm not in order to carry on a conversation. I feel so icky cause I'm not being myself but I can't be myself because they don't like me for me and if I be myself they won't want to talk to me and then I'll be alone cause they don't like me for me (extreme runon lololol).
I always wanted to drop all my school friends, run off to the media center, and write but something just holds me back from freedom. I feel obligated to stick with people I can't even be myself around and I have a strong feeling it's going to be like that for the next four years... BUT LUCKILY
I have you my little Floridian.
Yeah I see you blushing.
I see you.
Coughnoidontlol.
Anywho, I'm done here. I have more to say but I'll save it for another day. Happy merry Cheistmas eve day before birthday. Woooooo!
My vain kitty.
